gone, gone

where ya gonna go with a head that empty??
where ya gonna go with a heart that gone??



nyc-gone, gone
conor oberst

ophelia

so if your lover should leave 

don't get too sad

and don't compose epic poems 

to win her back

'cause when your bird has flown

she'll never return home

though all your life you'll wait

she never will return

on a freezing chicago street

margot and the nuclear so and so's

i am alive

i am alive

i am alive

that is the best that i can do

you told me you lied

you swore you were mine

i'd take you back a thousand times

dress me like a clown

margot and the nuclear so and so's

purge

i miss you 

less and less

everyday

it's true

the whiskey's helped to wash you away

and it's clear to see

you're nothing special

(you're a skeleton key)

skeleton key

margot and the nuclear so and so's

haunted by the mortal cold of the universe

"Many people experience the dying and rebirth-- which is our fate-- only this once during their entire life. Their childhood becomes hollow and gradually collapses, everything they love abandons them and they suddenly feel surrounded by the loneliness and the mortal cold of the universe. Very many are caught forever in this impasse, and for the rest of their lives cling painfully to an irrevocable past, the dream of the lost paradise-- which is the worst and most ruthless of dreams."

Demian, by Herman Hesse

letting go

(i hate that) my heartstrings

are clenched in the sweaty fists 

of indifferent boys

(and they wonder) why 

i keep holding out my hand

(and i wonder too)

because

there is nothing for me to grasp

                                                                                                                     -Emilie Wetzel

from pain comes growth...right?

I've shedding my layers of security

and traded it for change
uncertainty


and loneliness