purge

i miss you 

less and less

everyday

it's true

the whiskey's helped to wash you away

and it's clear to see

you're nothing special

(you're a skeleton key)

skeleton key

margot and the nuclear so and so's

haunted by the mortal cold of the universe

"Many people experience the dying and rebirth-- which is our fate-- only this once during their entire life. Their childhood becomes hollow and gradually collapses, everything they love abandons them and they suddenly feel surrounded by the loneliness and the mortal cold of the universe. Very many are caught forever in this impasse, and for the rest of their lives cling painfully to an irrevocable past, the dream of the lost paradise-- which is the worst and most ruthless of dreams."

Demian, by Herman Hesse

letting go

(i hate that) my heartstrings

are clenched in the sweaty fists 

of indifferent boys

(and they wonder) why 

i keep holding out my hand

(and i wonder too)

because

there is nothing for me to grasp

                                                                                                                     -Emilie Wetzel

from pain comes growth...right?

I've shedding my layers of security

and traded it for change
uncertainty


and loneliness

breathin' fire

what if my own skin makes my skin crawl?

what if my own flesh is suburban sprawl?

what happened between us makes sense 

if I'm nothing... you're all...

if I am nothing at all

you're always on my mind

you're always on my mind

you're always on my mind

you're always on my mind

fiya

tUnE-yArDs

hazy horizons

well summer's gonna come it's gonna cloud our eyes again

no need to focus when there's nothing that's worth seeing

an attempt to tip the scales

bright eyes

the return to solitude

I lost it all

now I know 

it's so good to be alone

I had it all, I had it all

I hate to be alone

oh I hate to be alone

but I need to be alone

oh I need to be alone

the afterparty
bad books