ready or not!

you're shying away...

I'll be coming for your love, okay?

Take on me

Take me on

I'll be gone 

in a day or two

it's no better to be safe than sorry

take on me

A-Ha

urge and urge and urge

I am on a lonely road

and I am traveling

traveling

traveling

looking for something: what can it be?

I want to be strong, I want to laugh along

I want to belong to the living

alive alive

I want to get up and jive

wanna wreck my stockings in some jukebox dive

do you want

do you want? do you wanna dance with me, baby?

all I want

Joni Mitchell

growing dn

Children, wake up,
hold your mistake up,
before they turn the summer into dust


Children, don’t grow up,
our bodies get bigger but our hearts get torn up


We’re just a million little god’s 
causin' rain storms 
turnin’ every good thing to rust


I guess we’ll just have to adjust


wake up
arcade fire

life's not a chore

Work of sight is done

Now do heart work

on the pictures within you

-Rainer Maria Rilke

waiting for the whistle

I am waitin' 'til I don't know when,

'cause I'm sure it's gonna happen then

but

they say a watched pot won't ever boil...

well I closed my eyes and nothin' changed,

just some water getting hotter in the flames

Neighborhood #4 (7 Kettles)

Arcade Fire

one of those days

one of those days....

where I just hold my breath

and wait for everyone else to realize

that i'm here and now

a midnight poem

Meow

if I were a cat

I would not have to write

essays. . .

and my life would be better

unfortunately

if i could, you know i would
just hold your hand and you'd understand
i'm the girl who loves you





i'm the boy who loves you
wilco

foggy mind

cheer up, honey, I hope you can
there is something wrong with me
my mind is filled with silvery stars
honey, kisses, clouds of fog


oh distance has no way
of making love
understandable




radio cure
wilco

not bragging, but worried

Will I catch the moon
Like a bird in a cage?

It's for you I swoon
I'm always in love




i'm always in love
wilco

life on repeat

And every day that you want to waste,
that you want to waste,
you can

And every day that you want to wake up,
that you want to wake,
you can

And every day that you want to change,
that you want to change


Yeah, I'll help you see it through
'cause I just really want to be with you




waste
foster the people

hopes hurt

Lately I've been getting bruised
By love I can't afford to lose
And I can't say that I like it, but what else am I supposed to do?

oncoming traffic
lauren o'connell

I don't learn so good

You said our love was like a bonsai tree
And of course, you were right
Oh, that's why, darling, it's a tragedy
To find me drawing bonsai trees tonight


the bonsai tree
peter and the wolf

David Slavitt style

unloved

an original

So many many months ago, I said I would write a song and perform at an open mic...
well I've finally done so.

I wrote it in late september, early october (I think... it was the week after parents weekend... what a wild time) and performed on October 6th at the Blackbird Cafe. Remarkable, no one threw rotten tomatoes at me. That was nice of them.

so here are the lyrics since I cannot climb through the internet and sing the song to you.

Twitchin' Fingers
I just had the craziest dream
you saw the yeti wearing stone-washed jeans
and we were so, so confused
there were apples in the stereo
and I couldn't stop laughing
you were quoting Mario

and I awoke with twitchin' fingers
and oh that taste it lingers in my mouth
so can you blame me?
I'm hitchin' out

Don't know when I lost my head
but that surely was a surprise
'Cause last thing I knew
I was flirtin' with a Hungarian Horntail
He was following me with his beady little eyes

and I awoke with twitchin' fingers
and oh that taste it lingers in my mouth
so can you blame me?
I'm hitchin' out

It seems no matter what I did in that dream last night
I kept stumblin'
and slipped right down a mountain side
and fell into a lake
oh it had to be at least
eight miles wide

and I awoke with twitchin' fingers
and oh that taste it lingers in my mouth
so can you blame me?
I'm hitchin' out

I just had the craziest dream
you saw the yeti wearing stone-washed jeans

throwing bones

why'd you think I'd put out your fire?

why'd you think I'd put out your fire?

Don't you know ...
I breathe in fire,

breathe out fire?

fiya
tUnE-yArDs

expectations

looking for somewhere to stand and stay

I leaned on the wall and the wall leaned away

you know I dreamed about you

for twenty-nine years before I saw you

you know I dreamed about you

I missed you for twenty-nine years

slow show

the national

examinations

it's all jumbled--

how did I ever think I knew you?

motivate

Old coyote's faking sleep

not counting sheep on the watch he keeps

we bring springtime into bloom

inside these rooms

and outside under the moon

ring around rosey games always end the same way

we all fall down

get up now baby

get up now babe

it's your song

it's your song playin'








old coyote
the weepies

heart songs

Wake up to find out that you are the eyes of the world,

The heart has its beaches, its homeland and thoughts of its own.

Wake now, discover that you are the song that the mornin brings,

But the heart has its seasons, its evenins and songs of its own.

Eyes of the World

Grateful Dead

space between us all

We were talking--

about the love we all could share

when we find it

To try our best to hold it there

with our love

with our love

we could save the world--- if they only knew

try to realize it's all within yourself

no one else can make you change

and to see you're really only very small,

and life flows on

within you and without you

within you without you

beatles

Sweet summer singer, come along

and walk down roads that we've already walked upon

Sweet summer sparrow, sing your song

oh you know that I've waited all year long

for you

Sparrow

Scattered Trees

unknown as the world goes underground

what if my own skin makes my skin crawl?

what if my own flesh is suburban sprawl?

what happened between us makes sense

if i'm nothing

if i'm nothing at all

fiya

tUnE-YaRdS

in which I almost missed an epic speech but was saved with a little help from my friends

This past Thursday, Bill McKibben, one of the most important environmental writers of our era, came to our school to speak about global climate change and what we can do about it.
I'm not going to write about that because no one reads my blog so it would be a waste of my finger wigglings.

Instead, I will tell you about the adventures that happened beforehand!
Because we got there so early so that we could have good seats, we had lots of time to spare. Chris, Matthew, Emily and I decided to frolic around in the cold spring air for a bit. Emily did some wonderful handstands because she's a crazy gymnastic person but the rest of us took to the trees and climbed up into their welcoming branches.
(So that means that number 11 from my checklist (find a climbing tree on campus) is complete!)
Unfortunately for me, I must have inherited some cat instinct (from where, I don't know) but I'm one of those people who can climb up things... and then can't get down. I'm have troubles gauging how high off the ground I am and get frightened about jumping down. Needless to say, I was only about 5 to 6 feet off the ground but was nonetheless stuck in the nook of the tree thinking "oh god (I'm stuck) oh man, oh god, oh man" like that really awful actor.
That is, until Emily and Chris assured me that I was barely off the ground and could totally do it. Thank goodness for my friends or I would have totally missed Bill McKibben's speech!

it's time for

well it was certainly time for a change....

and so I cut my hair! wabam! goodbye split ends, and number 4 from my to-do list!

yes, spring is coming!

L.O.V.E.

it's a mystery

where you'll find me

where you'll find

all is love

karen o and the kids

all is love

left behind

well we all change in our own ways

in our own pretty ways

it all comes down to this

i'm the ocean

you're the rain

our own pretty ways

first aid kit

and it's too hard to focus

through all this doubt

i keep making these to-do lists

but nothing gets crossed out

nothing gets crossed out

bright eyes

the checklist

15.) Take a gander down the Avenue of the Elms

This is exactly what I did on Tuesday after I had Ecology! I took met up with Emily, put my snow boots on and set off to enjoy the sunshiney day! It was an interesting walk because while the snow was most packed, occasionally one foot would catch you by surprise and sink down into the snowy depths of the field. It was a very pleasant walk, full of conversation about goats, chickens, plastic water bottles, next fall/spring, and riding. We traveled all the way down the avenue of the elms (which aren't all elms, the little liars) to the road with the horse barn on it. (This is why we were talking about riding.) We wanted to visit the barn but thought it might be weird to drop in when we didn't know anyone so we just traveled back the way we came.

Exciting discoveries: We found some splendid fungi growing on one of the trees like a mini staircase that had really a intricate underside. Emily and I also found some excellent dead burdocks that I took with me to put in my dead flowers/weeds/fern arrangement. It's pretty, I swear!

Emily and I also found a huge puddle that had iced over into a rather large "skating rink" so we had a blast skating around in our boots on the slippery surface. Wish I had gone ice skating for real this semester!

grasping for the memory

Sparrow, sing to me

the song I heard last spring

it's the melody I can't retrieve

no matter how I try

it seems that song has left this place

sparrow

scatteredtrees

drifting

Through the forest

down to your grave

where the birds sing

and the tall grasses wave

They do not

know you anymore

tiger mountain peasant song

fleet foxes

one of those days

Hullaballabaluu say kings of every land

Hullaballabaluu say him and me and you

Hullaballabaluu say birds of every land

Hullaballabaluu say them and him and me and you

in these words we drown

Hullaballabaluu

Mum

Orion and a deadline

It's four in the morning

and I'm in the company of Orion and a deadline...

but they're not what I'm missing.

Venus is not yet on the rise,

and the ghosts aren't stirring on the lake

What's even the point of waking up?

late night piano jamming

5.) Go to Eben Holden at night and play piano. Bring Amanda

this was my mission, and I completed it Saturday night! Eben Holden is an old dining hall building on our campus that is usually locked at night. Fortunately, Amanda and I are fantastic at picking locks (just kidding, we're just resourceful) and so we got in regardless of the locked doors. The building was pitch dark but with the help of my headlamp, we found the light switches and let the building be illuminated! Then we scurried downstairs to the kitchen portion where there is an out of tune piano in a corner.

I played Tracce by Ludovico Einaudi and part of the Moonlight Sonata (the only two songs I can remember). Amanda played Nefeli (again, by Ludovico; we love him) and showed me the rest of Moonlight Sonata, which I promptly forgot (she's a fabulous pianist, whereas I am NOT). After a couple of songs and dancing around, we decided that we had had enough, and so we made our journey back to our dorm, vowing to explore the basement. Unfortunately, it wasn't very interesting because most of the doors were locked. (Why didn't Amanda and I just break into them like we did with Eben Holden? I could claim we had no interest, but really, we just have no skills.)

a sauntering supper

photo: quinn cowper

I'll have you know that indeed, I have completed one of the objectives from my list of 25 things to do this semester! hey hey number 17, you're off the tally list now! but I wouldn't mind in the least to complete you again :)

the little brain that could

i just might make it

i just might make it

i just might make it

that is

if my brain

doesn't fall out of

my skull in the next hour...

wake up

Dear Prudence

open up your eyes

Dear Prudence

see the sunny skies

The wind is low

the birds will sing

that you are part of everything

Dear Prudence

won't you open up your eyes?

dear prudence

the beatles

new world, new ways

now we're back to the beginning

it's just a feeling and no one knows yet

just because they can't feel it too

doesn't mean that you have to forget

let your memories grow stronger and stronger

til they're before your eyes

they'll come back when you call them

no need to say goodbye

they'll come back...

no need to start to cry

the call

regina spektor

keep pushin'

I'm still angry with no reason to be

At the architect who imagines

For the every man, blessed Sisyphus

Slipping steadily into madness, now that's the only place to be free

But here it come, that heavy love

You're never gonna move it alone

Shell Games

Bright Eyes

happy birthday conor

might as well

Blue eyes, they change like the weather

Blue sea, blue sky, blue pain

I wouldn't trust my own blue-eyed reflection

As far as I could throw that mirror

But these are just silly eye-colour generalizations

You shouldn't believe a word I've said

'Cause when you're lying in your bed

Darkness 'round your head

Your eyes might as well be polka-dotted or plaid

Polka-dotted or plaid

Silly Eye-Colour Generalizations

Regina Spektor

checkin' 'em off!

without really meaning to, I've already completed 2 things on my list of 25!

13.) Snow date with friends!

On Thursday, after getting back from a delightful snowshoe through the woods, my roommate and I decided to frolic across campus in the snow. We bundled up in snow pants, hats and scarves on a mission to make as many snow angels across campus as we could.

And so we charged across campus, pausing every once in a while to throw ourselves into snow banks to make an angel. Pretty soon, we found some icicles which we brandished like swords as we galloped around in the snow. We took some time as well to scuff "HI!" in huge letters into a snowy field. Everyone probably thought we were crazy but we were having the time of our lives!

14.) go to the gym and chase the dragons!
At my school, there are stationary bicycles in the gym that have tv's hooked up to the bike. If you want, you can play a racing game on different courses and such and supposedly also chase dragons. I had played the racing game before but had never been able to find the dragon game, which, let's face it, sounds WAY cooler.

On Friday while I was at the gym, Emily found the dragon game and showed me how to play it. Basically, you just ride around this world until you find a coin. If it's a green coin, you have to catch a green dragon, blue/blue, red/red, silver/silver. The green dragons are the easiest to catch because they're not that far away and unlike the red and silver dragons, aren't on top of hills. The blue dragons are a bit tricky to catch because they like to hang out right next to water. I found out the hard way that if you go in the water, you get a pretty hefty point reduction.

It's a pretty fun game and I'll probably play it again today when I go back to the gym but to be honest, it's not quite as awesome as I had hoped. I was hoping that there would be chances to change worlds or get rewards etc for getting so many points.

silence together

a, b, c, d

Can I bring my friend to tea?

e, f, g, h, i, j

I love you

lyrics All Together Now

Beatles

image via slowbicylces

not saying should

I know I should

live in the moment

but at Arcadia

we had a policy

of not saying "should"

so I won't

say should

and instead

for a moment

I will indulge

and reminisce

hello massawepie

hello arcadians

how I miss you

crumbs and ground

unintentionally

I have started my quest

to find 7 bands

I love

with the help of Emily

and gogoyoko

I have fallen in love with

Icelandic melodies

thank you

Iceland

for the soothing, grounding

music

to get me through my

chaotic

crazy

crumbly

week

heading out!

I'm leaving for school tomorrow!!! FINALLY!

in preparation, I've compiled a list of 25 things I want to do this semester to keep my spirit light as the blustery winter winds howl around me. Most of them are things I want to do anyways so it won't be too hard (I hope) to complete them all by May.

1.) Walk to see my friends at the intentional community and have dinner

2.) Go rock climbing on real rocks

3.) sit in on a zen meditation

4.) Decide how I want to cut my hair (bonus: cut my hair!)

5.) Go to Eben Holden at night and play piano. Bring my roommate!

6.) Play sardines with a group of 7 or more

7.) Do yoga in an outrageous outfit

8.) meet someone from the community

9.) volunteer at nysarc

10.) Get through all of rose's episodes (2 seasons, Doctor Who)

11.) Find an epic climbing tree on campus

12.) Go to three meetings of three new groups (or pick a whole bunch=9)

13.) Go to the gym and chase the dragon!

14.) Have a date in the snow with friends (snow ball fight, angels or snowmen)

15.) Take a gander down the avenue of the elms

16.) Talk to Kaitlin on Skype!

17.) Go on a real date >> sneak attack hold hands

18.) Spend a night at the lean-to when it's ~40 degrees

19.) Make a map of all the places I've peed on campus

20.) Travel through every hallway on campus

21.) Meditate in the zen garden on the first nice spring day, once all the snow melts. Chase the squirrels away, maybe read some Gary Snyder

22.) Find 7 new bands that I LOVE (at least 7 songs of each band)

23.) visit the sustainable landscape

24.) Write a song>> perform it in front of at least 3 people. (Bonus: open mic)

25.) Send a message in a bottle

For the most part, this list is composed of things that will make me gather my friends together for mini-adventures!

However, I first made this list on January 5th and I've discovered that I've already completed #10 and #16 (i.e. get through rose's episodes and skype with Kaitlin). Because of this, I've decided to replace them with new objectives since the list was supposed to be specifically for spring semester:

10.) Finish my canoe paddle at Everett's

16.) Visit Arcadia/Michael's (since I don't have a vehicle, it will be hard to be choosy. This may not happen if my friend's with cars don't want to drive all the way there. still, I hope it happens, so I'll put it on there)

and kaitlin, just because I've taken you off the list doesn't mean I won't skype you! I'll be skyping you all the time! #16 was just too easy!

I have no idea if I'll be able to complete all of these things, but I'll sure as hell try my best!

anticipation

what a life i lead when the sun breaks free

as a giant torn from the clouds

what a life indeed when that ancient seed

is a berry watered and plowed

Sun Giant

Fleet Foxes

the parting of ways

I'm waiting for the rest of the video to load, knowing fully that in a matter of a half an hour, there will be a new Doctor in my life.

Is it horrible to say that I'm excited? I didn't mind Christopher Eccleston but I am really excited to be reunited with David Tennant. Who wouldn't be?

stir crazy

I am ready

ready to let the road beneath my feet

go